Mixed Martial B0nes

I was knocked down this week, but luckily it wasn’t from a mad “Frenchy” like GSP in UFC83. No, a damn cold left me looking at this match for a while on my DVR. I’m still waiting for the fight between Nate Quarry and Kalib Starnes to begin. Something tells me I might be waiting a looong time for that to happen. Here are my musings on what happened in the main event. They’re pretty close to the preview I gave which makes me think I should give up my day job and become a professional gambler. Of course, that would mean being right every single time. I think I prefer my 30% accuracy rate in my Gubment job. Here’s the results if you’ve been under a rock or sneezing and wheezing your head off like me for the last three days!

Matt Serra Vs. Georges St-Pierre It wasn’t total annihilation but it was close. Serra was able to get a few hits while he was on his feet. Of course, he wasn’t on his feet for most of the match. It was “Frenchy” (To be fair, he’s from Montreal and this is Serra’s nickname for St-Pierre.) that fought the best this night. For every technique Matt dealt, GSP was able to figure it out and totally dominate. It got really ugly after a while and the knees and elbows just kept flying. The pain ended at nearly the end of the second round. So, there it is. Georges is the champ and Matt’s the chump. Well, maybe that’s too strong a word for Serra. I’ll save that for a later fight. Hopefully, the fight I’ve been looking for, Matt Serra vs. Matt Hughes can happen: LoserBowl2K8!

Travis Lutter Vs. Rich Franklin Lutter was able to do some good submission work on the ground in the first. He controlled Franklin pretty well until the end of the round. Rich was able to escape and get up. Then the round ended. Second round unfolded very differently. It was all Franklin just pelting Lutter with hit after hit. He then got position on Lutter and did some ground and pound. The ref decided to give Franklin’s fists the night off. So, Rich gets the W first in this fight.

Nate Quarry Vs. Kalib Starnes I didn’t like the way Kalib looked. It seems that you *can* read a book by its cover! The Quarry/Starnes fight was one of the most agonizing matches to see in this event. Luckily, I could fast forward through the circling and circling and evading and dodging. It’s one thing to circle so you can gain position on your opponent to throw a good punch or kick at him, but it’s an entirely different thing to just circle to circle. Did Kalib forget that he is a Mixed Martial Artist? You hit and get hit as a MMA’er. That’s the breaks. It goes without saying that Starnes lost the match but for this pathetic showing, he lost his career in the UFC! I don’t know if it was warranted. But hey, there are plenty more hungry guys out there willing to do some damage aching for a contract. Check out the Iron Ring if you don’t believe me.

Charles McCarthy Vs. Michael Bisping McCarthy tried to get some grapple on in this fight and nearly got the arm bar on Bisping. Michael escaped and decided that grappling wasn’t going to be the feature of this fight. He just rained punch after punch on McCarthy and got the win before the first round was over.

Mark Bocek Vs. Mac Danzig This was the best fight of the night. I had Big Mac winning this but the first round made me think that I chose the wrong fighter and I should go back to munching on beef. Bocek was pretty much not going to let Danzig do any standup in this round. It didn’t seem like a good move even though Bocek has a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. In the second round, it was the Second Coming of Big Mac. He was rocking Bocek from standup position and for good measure took it to the ground and laid some wood down. In the third round we saw both of these guys do some damage. Bocek grabbed Big Mac for a big take down. He had some control for a bit but Danzig got out of it by punching and then kicking to get to standup. Then after a few more hits, Big Mac lands a knee that busts Mark’s head open and bloodies it up so bad that the doctor stopped the fight to look at it. They look at it a bit and give him the go ahead to continue but they probably should have stopped it there. Somehow, after a flurry of jabs, Danzig trips Bocek and takes his back. Then it’s the old Rear Naked Choke and tappity tap tap time. The TUF6 winner gets another W and marches towards a belt of his own I think. Go Vegan Boy go Vegan Boy GO!

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A lot of us have been waiting for UFC83 to happen. The Ultimate Fighter 6 promised us a fight between the two coaches. We were really psyched to see Matt Serra face one of the greatest welterweights of all time and finally Matt Serra and Matt Hughes will fight for the Championship… err oh yeah! Make that Matt Serra and Georges St-Pierre. When will *that* fight happen? Who knows. I just hope we don’t get robbed out of a Forrest Griffin vs. Rampage fight too. For now, lets see what’s going to happen April 19th. Holy smokes! That’s tomorrow night. Whip out your credit cards and get your pay per view TV or Yahoo going. Or, if you’re feeling really adventurous, make a run for North American Frenchyland in Montreal, Canada where this event is being held.

Matt Serra Vs. Georges St-Pierre figures to be the marquee matchup of the night. Of course, that’s what we thought when GSP fought Hughes in UFC79. GSP completely discombobulated Hughes and we were all left wondering if that was the last we’d see of Hughes fighting in the Octagon. Serra missed that fight because of a back injury he received during training. I think we’re going to see a replay of that fight except just plug in Serra for Hughes and watch GSP just demolish Serra with an array of ground and pound with an arm bar or rear naked choke for good measure. GSP will be crowned Champ and then we get our long awaited fight between the leftover shells of men that will be Serra and Hughes.

Travis Lutter Vs. Rich Franklin These two are both trying to shake recent losses to the same guy from their memories. Anderson Silva handed them both a big “L” in their fight record. I’m kind of on Franklin’s side for this one since he fought more recently than Lutter in UFC77.

Nate Quarry Vs. Kalib Starnes I’m only able to give my thorough Newbie investigation results on this one: I just don’t like the way Kalib looks! He’s got a freaky wall-eye in his promo photo and “The Rock” just looks the part. Of course, Quarry’s a cheap lousy ripoff of the *REAL* Rock but we’ll see if we’re going to smell what he’s cooking!

Charles McCarthy Vs. Michael Bisping We haven’t seen McCarthy do anything since 2006. Bisping fought last year in UFC77 but lost. It was his first loss after four consecutive wins. I think he’ll get back on track and continue with a win over this event’s Couch Warrior.

Mark Bocek Vs. Mac Danzig I think *THIS* will be the fight of the night. Big Mac was unstoppable in TUF6 and I believe he’ll be a force to reckon with for years to come. Bocek won the decision in UFC79 but I don’t think he has enough meat stuffed in his colon to defeat the Mad Vegan Danzig. As a fellow veggie-freak myself, I’m pulling for Danzig to smack some green upside Bocek’s head. BTW, we’re still friends right Mark? I may have to buy him a bunch of beers if I ever meet him in person… sheesh!