UFC113: Machida vs. Shogun 2 came to the great province of Quebec in the city of Montreal on May 8, 2010.  Again it was a feature packed event.  After a few lackluster UFC‘s this one looked to fill our bills with MMA goodness.  What we came away with instead was a whooole lot of questions:

Is Lyoto Machida exposed as merely a “karate guy” that can’t hang with real MMA’rs?  This is a conceit by many a fan and many a competitor that Machida had proved wrong time and time again until this bout with Shogun Rua.  Rua just completely took apart Machida and left him a tub of goo on the Octagon floor.

WTF was Paul Daley thinking???!!?  Seeya dude.  Dana is really trying to create a better product so he can sell it to “normal” TV in the future.  That’s Dana White’s ultimate goal: To gain as many fans as the NFL and grab a spot on a regular television network.  That’s not going to happen if you have jackholes, punching people looong after the bell has rung.  Even a complete UFC novice knows not to do that.  So, for now, Daley’s out of the UFC until Dana White says he can come back on.  He had such a great prize to look forward to.  A title shot at GSP and a coaching gig on The Ulimate Fighter!  Quite a bonehead move.

Kimbo’s in the same boat: Out of the UFC for now.  Getting taken apart by “Meathead” Mitrone wasn’t what Dana had in mind for Kimbo in the UFC.  Still, I don’t think one loss should have meant booting out a surefire ratings bonanza like Kimbo out of the organization.  Kimbo will go back to Strikeforce and bump up the ratings again.  Hopefully, with what he’s learned he’ll completely dominate and earn his spot back into the UFC.  Fighters with bigger beefs against Dana have come back and will fight again, see Chuck Liddell and Tito Ortiz!

Here are your results:

No Wanna See You Card:

* Middleweight bout:  Jason MacDonald vs.  John Salter
Salter put the hurt on MacDonald via TKO (injury) at 2:42 of round 1.

* Welterweight bout:  Yoshiyuki Yoshida vs.  Mike Guymon
Guymon fooled the judges and beat up Yoshida via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27).

* Heavyweight bout:  Tim Hague vs.  Joey Beltran
Beltran fooled the judges and beat up Hague via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-26, 29-28).

* Welterweight bout:  TJ Grant vs.  Johny Hendricks
Hendricks fooled the jugges and beat up Grant via majority decision (29-27, 29-27, 28-28).

* Welterweight bout:  Marcus Davis vs.  Jonathan Goulet
Davis put the hurt on Goulet via TKO (punches) at 1:23 of round 2.

* Middleweight bout:  Joe Doerksen vs.  Tom Lawlor
Doerksen choked the fight out of Lawlor via submission (rear naked choke) at 2:10 of round 2.

Main PPV and/or Drunk at the Pub Fights:

* Middleweight bout:  Patrick Côté vs.  Alan Belcher
Belcher choked the fight out of Cote via submission (rear naked choke) at 3:25 of round 2.

* Heavyweight bout:  Kimbo Slice vs.  Matt Mitrione
Mitrione put the hurt on Slice via TKO (punches) at 4:24 of round 2.

* Lightweight bout:  Sam Stout vs.  Jeremy Stephens
Stephens fooled the jugges and beat up Stout via split decision (30-27, 29-28, 28-29).

* Welterweight bout:  Josh Koscheck vs.  Paul Daley
Koscheck fooled the jugges and beat up Daley via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)

* Light Heavyweight Championship bout:  Lyoto Machida (c) vs.  Mauricio Rua
Rua layed the smack down on Machida via KO (punches) at 3:35 of round 1 to become the new UFC Light Heavyweight Champion.

The UFC Fight Night 13 has come and gone. I’ve been able to watch it, watch it again, and then re-watch it for good measure. I’ve come away with a few thoughts. The match ups were actually not too bad. There was a really good mix of fighters this time out and very few couch potatoes if you don’t count Tim Boetsch who got dropped in the second round of his fight. Our Ultimate Fighter Alumni fare ok although some of them could have done much much better. I’m talking to you Farm Boy! Just don’t hurt me or try to find me or… hey, how about I buy you a few beers buddy old pal! We also got to see the debut of the new season of The Ultimate Fighter. Was it everything we hoped and dreamed for?

Joe Lauzon was handled without mercy by Kenny Florian late into the second round of their fight. They were pretty even for a while there. This match easily scores as best of the night. That is, unless of course the un-aired Clay Guida or Manny Gamburyan fights were as action packed as this one. I remember Joe on the Ultimate Fighter 5 and he was one of the short listed guys to win it all. It’s funny that he headlines this event while the guys that advanced further than him are second and even no-billed at all.

Tommy (The Farm Boy) Speer was handed an embarassing loss to Anthony Johnson. It wasn’t a good sign when we saw Matt Hughes in his corner. Hughes probably handed Speer a Bible and his patented “gameplan” for Johnson. It was obvious that Tommy was going to try to take this one to the ground and then do some pounding or submitting from there. He did so by charging in with his head wide open and just got rocked by punches that kept coming. He ended up in a little ball on the side of the Octagon. He should have abandoned the gameplan when he discovered that his head was hurting a bit. I hope Tommy does better. He certainly was my pick to win last season. Of course, the mad Vegan Big Mac Danzig had something to say about that.

Nate Diaz is the real effing deal. As much as I can’t stand the guy and believe that he walked away with a fake win on the Ultimate Fighter 5, he is proving himself to be one of those elite fighters. His match with Kurt Pellegrino really proved that he can’t be beat even when he is soundly getting beat. Kurt controlled and layed the beat down on Nate for almost his entire match. Then somehow, he found himself in a triangle complete with double birds for good measure. Manvel the Anvil won his match as well. I will scream at the top of my lungs until it happens: NATE DIAZ VS MANNY GAMBURYAN MUST HAPPEN NOW!!!!

After all this bone crunching goodness, we got to see the new season of The Ultimate Fighter unfold. In a word best used by Forrest Griffin: Garbage. This was just the preliminary fights. 32 guys started shuffling into the gym and none of them had a clue what was going on. “Uh… usually there are only 16 guys on the show but all these other dudes kept walking in the door. We were all like, ‘WTF??!’” Hmmmm… you signed up for a show called “The Ultimate Fighter” and you know only 16 guys are on the show? Duh. So we saw some more fights by guys that were really really raw or “garbage.” So if they drag this part of the show out more, we’re looking at 2 more weeks of this junk. I can’t believe I’m jonesing for an upper-decker or a foosball table in the pool right now!

UFC‘s Fight Night 13 is upon us tonight (Wednesday, April 2nd 2008). This event features a full stack of fighters from a number of different Ultimate Fighter shows as well as some other UFC guys under contract looking for a brawl. The fights will be aired on the SPIKE network as usual and the whole thing will last about three hours. After that, we will be treated to the next THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER. This fight card really pisses me off. You can see the entire card HERE. It doesn’t include a fight I’ve been waiting for for a LOOOONG time, so like some of the past Ultimate Fighter contestants I’m going to bitch out of doing an entire fight card analysis.

WOW! It seems like an entire world ago when we were finding out what “upper decker” meant and that Big Mac didn’t like being in the house and that grown men are always crying about something and… ok I’ll stop there. Suffice to say, I like what I saw in the tiny preview of TUF. Especially the part about fighting your way out of the house if you want to wuss out. There’s been too much whining and complaining from these guys. I already outlined just a few steps that could improve the show a while ago. I don’t think Dana got the call… at least if they get tired of getting drunk and trashing someone’s house on the UFC’s dime, they can fight their way out to palookaville.

I don’t know what to make of this card. The featured bout is Joe Lauzon vs. Kenny Florian. Bringing up almost the absolute rear is Clay Guida vs. Samy Schiavo. Clay was the featured fight in UFC Fight Night 12 with Ray Huerta in a match that you *really* must see again. Oh yeah, we finally get to see Manny Gamburyan and Nate Diaz in the same octagon BUT not in the SAME fight. Also, we probably wont be able to see Manny. Just Nate. I *know* Nate won TUF5, but only because Manny couldn’t continue. There has been NO rematch since and here they are together and they still aren’t fighting. I’ve already ranted about this too. UFC83′s match with GSPII vs. Serra is a part of that rant about fights we aren’t going to see. There are also other good matches like Roman Mitichyan vs. Georgie-boy Sotiropoulos that won’t be televised.

I *must* be a complete newbie biiatch not to see the genius that is Ultimate Fighting Championship. The lineup is good and has some great fighters but they could use some shuffling about. Especially if they want to promote this next Ultimate Fighter show. Hell, one of the fighters was Tim Boetsch who they dusted off the couch for UFC 81, another event with a dubious fight card. Well, I’m going to watch this… for the entire 4 hours… but, I’m not going to like it!!!

This past week has come over me like a storm and I’ve been amiss in commenting on the MMA action from WEC and EliteXC that went down. We’ll cover just a little bit of each because I have to get my head straight for what will be another packed month of action. There were championships on the line in both the WEC 33 and EliteXC events. We got to see some action from Doug Marshall and Brian Stan on the WEC side. Cung Le and Frank Shamrock were battling on the EliteXC side. Who would stand and who would fall? Let’s find out!

Both champs underestimated their opponents. Let us begin with my favorite organization, the WEC. Doug Marshall came out swinging like a mad man and was seemingly doing ok with Stann in the standup game. This was his undoing. Stann was the bigger man with a better reach. At about a minute and a half in the first, Marshall fell like a brick. He might have had a chance in the ground game as Stann is relatively new at this but Marshall hasn’t showed a lot of submission work so far. Stann looks like the real deal and it will be difficult to come up with a fighter that can match him. There’s probably a few guys in the UFC that are fighting at the crowded light heavyweight division there that might chance it.

Other fights in the WEC 33 event were pretty great as well. Chael Sonnen gave the unbeaten Bryan Baker a clinic in submissions and takedowns. This puts him back into contention for the championship against Paulo Filho. Maybe this time he won’t get his arm caught in a weird position at the very last minute? Steve Cantwell took down and submitted Tim “The Wrecking Machine” McKenzie. Rich Crunkilton bloodied up Sergio Gomez something fierce. I thought they would stop the fight but Gomez didn’t seem to be affected by all that blood sloshing out the back of his head. Next time keep your hands up Gomez!

OK, EliteXC. I’ll be covering this more when the Saturday Night Fights come into play on CBS. For now, lets just say that a new King of San Jose was crowned on Saturday, March the 29th. King of San freakin’ Jose???!? I guess that makes me the King of South East La Mesa 7-11′s Back Alley. Frank Shamrock had no answer for Cung Le’s legwork. I wish I could have seen this in person. Finally! A MMA’r that knows how to kick! Cung kept piling on the kicks to Frank and kept him at arms length which is exactly what kicks are great for. Shamrock was able to get inside a few times and lay the wood down on Le, but it was too little too late. He complained in between rounds that his arm was killing him. He was right, there was a fracture and he couldn’t continue. Cung is KING! well… of San Jose at least.

Holy Smokes! We’ll be getting a bunch more action from both WEC and EliteXC later this month. EliteXC will get major support from CBS TV for its Saturday Night Fights. It also helps that Kimbo (Flippin’) Slice will be headlining that card. WEC 34 will feature a title match between Little Evil Jens Pulver and Uriah Faber. Wow. That will be something else. Best part of all? It’s all free as in BEER! Let’s all pop a frosty beverage and get comfortable for some good old fashioned head smashing!

The WEC is putting on a show tomorrow, Wednesday March 26th. These guys don’t mess around with hugging each other until someone gets weirded out. No, it will be a lot of fists and elbows cracking skulls and I can’t wait. Definitely a great bunch of matches to whet our appetites for UFC 83 and UFC‘s Fight Night which are right around the corner! Let’s just see who is going to kick sand in who’s face tomorrow!

Hiromitsu Miura Vs. Blas Avena Hiro is the stand up guy in this one with Blas being the submission specialist. They both have pretty light experience with Hiro having the edge there with a 7-3 record. Blas has a 4-1 record though so he hasn’t felt the bad taste of losing as much as Hiro. Even though they chose the dumb nickname of “Last Samurai” for him, I’m going with the standup dude since that’s the kind of pain I like to see.

Steve Cantwell Vs. Tim McKenzie Tim the “Wrecking Machine” has been out of the game for a while and Cantwell brings a 4-1 record with him. Not much to say about these two although the Machine hasn’t worked recently so a little ring rust may be his undoing. Cantwell actually faced the headliner for this event. Unfortunately he didn’t get the best of the marine just a KO. I see Cantwell putting it together and beating McKenzie back to the couch with the rest of us.

Ed Ratcliff Vs. Marcus Hicks This is the “Well, daig nabbit! Someone’s gotta lose” special of the night. They both have 6-0 records and that they aren’t fighting for a title is a bit bewildering but in their division at 155, there is steep competition. Maybe they need to eat a bit more corn and get in to the big boys room? I’m going to play hometown favorite here and give it to another striker: Ed for the win or FTW for you Interweb Weenies!

Chael Sonnen Vs. Bryan Baker We last saw Chael lose in a weird fight with Paulo Filho. I’m pretty sure he wants another crack at him and will try to put Bryan Baker in his place. He has an extensive record of 21-8-1 and has lots of experience in WEC as well as UFC. Lately his game has been a bit dicey though with two losses in a row. He’s not getting a cream puff in Baker here. His record is 6-0 and he’ll probably try and duplicate other efforts against Sonnen and submit him. I think Sonnen’s experience will help him and get him over the hump in this one.

Doug Marshall Vs. Brian Stann Here is our championship match of the evening. We last saw Doug Marshall totally destroy Ariel Gandulla in something like 50 seconds. He then jumped into the crowd and tried to goad someone into fighting some more. Luckily no one was dumb enough to take him up on his offer. His challenger is Brian Stann, a marine fighting out of Scranton, Pennsylvania. Stann doesn’t have nearly the record that Marshall has at 4-0, but Marshall’s 7-3 record doesn’t have him flying over to Iraq to bash the skulls of terrorists with bullets and whatever else is needed. This should prove to be an interesting match. For some reason, I think the marine is going to smash Marshall and grab the Light Heavyweight belt for himself. How does it go? HooRAH!

Oops! I guess I am… I’ve looked at my stories for the last couple of months and it’s REALLY looking like I don’t spend any time on anything other than the UFC and it’s little bro the WEC. I guess it’s kind of understandable but there are other leagues and types of martial arts out there. It’s just that the UFC and the WEC keep pumping out event after event and it’s hard for a guy with a day job to keep up. Soooo, without further adieu, here are five other happenings in the world of MMA that are worth checking out:

1) The World Combat League. This is Chuck Norris’ baby. If you like standup action and can’t stand the site of two half naked guys hugging each other for 3 to 15 minutes, this is the place for you. He’s organized it into a team sport. There’s no pu$$yfooting around here. You go flat out for 3 minutes and don’t you dare back down. It’s some pretty exciting stuff in an oddly old school way.

2) The International Fight League. If you want the teams and the grappling together, then you have to go here to the IFL. They try to inject a little bit of the NFL nomenclature here so you’ll here a lot of “it’s different once you get to the playoffs” and “it is what it is.” It still *IS* MMA though. So if you need MMA with your NFL, this is the league for you.

3) Yaw Yan Ardigma Makati. Fighting from the Far East. Filipino MMA is pretty brutal stuff. We likey!

4) Elite XC. This league has been around for a while and fights could be seen on Showtime but there really hasn’t been any reason to pay up for these fights until now. Why now? 2 words: Kimbo Slice.

5) The Iron Ring on BET. BET???!!? Yes *that* BET. And again, there really isn’t any reason to waste your time watching this show except for two… no make it THREE big aaaaish words: KIMBO FREAKING SLICE!

The UFC has put on quite a good show in UFC82: Pride of a Champion. UFC82 proved to be its namesake. The two champs, one from the UFC, the other from PRIDE went at it and made it a fight worth shelling out $45 bucks. Since it was on Yahoo and that is international, many of us from around the globe could order it and see it on the “Interweb.” My call to action was a bunch of UFC parties at the local Starbucks. Hopefully you fools didn’t follow my advice! Starbucks brews their coffee pretty hot and if the patron’s over there wanted to fight, they could’ve ended it pretty quickly with a grande house in your face!

Chris Wilson vs. Jon Fitch This was my trap fight special. It appeared that Fitch had a bit of ring rust in the first as Wilson was coming away with more strikes and techniques. In the second round, Jon woke up and started making a game of it. In the final round, both of them were playing pretty good standup with lots of punches being exchanged. Wilson managed to get a hook into Jon in the final seconds of the round and put a triangle on him but the bell rung before we found out if it worked or not. The judges gave it to Jon preserving his unbeaten streak.

Yushin Okami vs. Evan Tanner Tanner’s been out of the Octagon for about two years but he didn’t look like it in this match. They really went at each other exchanging punches and kicks. Okami put Tanner down in the first with a great punch. Luckily for Even, he remembered he was in a fight and got back up again, kicking and kneeing Yushin for payback. In the second round it was more of the same but then they got tied up together in a clinch and a solid knee from Okami put Tanner back on couch duty. There’s always a good episode of Star Trek or Seinfeld to watch Tanner! I should know…

Alessio Sakara vs. Chris Leben This fight didn’t last for too long. Both Sakara and Leben are standup guys that just love to go for the KO. They both landed some very very HARD hits then Chris managed to smack up Sakara with one that sent him to the ground. It was all over after that. Guess the doctor ordered up some ground and pound because that is what Leben delivered to Alessio’s head. The ref saw all he needed to see and stopped it. Score a TKO for the TUF#1 vet Chris Leben!

Heath Herring vs. Cheick Kongo The Heavyweights here put on a clinic in submissions and pounding. Kongo seemed to be doing a great job of putting Heath to the ground and pounding on him. For good measure, he landed quite a few knees that rocked Herring as well. Heath was able to answer a lot of what Kongo gave him and bided his time. In the last round, it looked like Kongo was going to finish Heath for good but all of a sudden Heath got on top of Kongo and started the pain. The judges had their work cut out for them. Herring got the decision on this one but I think Kongo may have gotten robbed. Hard to say when you don’t know exactly what to look for in a fight. My Newbie-ness will disappear eventually but, for now, I’ll work with what I’ve got and say: Kongo Got ROBBED.

Anderson Silva vs. Dan Henderson This is IT. Championship Time! Round one sees both of our fighters not wanting to make stupid mistakes early on. They start doing a bit of standup and this is what I thought Dan’s game would be but he puts Silva to the ground and starts working him and working him well with elbows and fists. I guess *this* was the real game. Round two sees the two fighters kicking. This time it’s mostly Silva doing the kicking and then *he* takes Dan to the ground. Henderson manages to wrestle out of it pretty quickly and they go back to standup. Henderson then got pummeled by a knee and dropped to the floor. Then it was bubbeeya bubbeeya that’s all folks as Silva began to work on getting the Grand Poobah of MMA win techniques: Rear Naked Choke! That’s all she wrote for the Dan crew. Uhhh bubbye now!

This was not too shabby of an event. The fight card had some really good matches. It could have used another title match but I guess there’s only so many you can spread out over the course of a year. Anyway, I can hardly wait for the UFC Fight Night event coming in April! Three full hours, that’s THREE, 3 hours of free televised goodness. Now all the Chai-latte freaks can suck down their drinks in peace again.

The UFC has had it’s fill of damn “furners” and is bringing its show back to the States where it belongs. UFC 82: Pride of a Champion is coming this Saturday, March the 1st. Finally, we have some fights on the main card that deserve to be there. Especially the poster boys here. Maybe our $45 will be well spent on this one and for those of us brave souls to try this on Yahoo: Head to Starbucks and scare the living daylights out of the peeps downing Chai lattes. Your soy mocha will be that much sweeter! OK, let’s see what UFC is dealing us tomorrow:

Chris Wilson vs. Jon Fitch This is a “trap” fight if I ever saw it. Jon Fitch hasn’t lost a match in FIVE YEARS, 14 straight. Not quite Patriot territory but still pretty respectable. Wilson is debuting in the UFC with this fight. It really looks like another win for Fitch, but you never know. Hence, the trap.

Chris Leben vs. Alessio Sakara We last saw Sakara at UFC80:Rapid Fire. He won easily in the first round over James Lee. Leben is part of the OG crew of the Ultimate Fighter. That’s TUF#1 for all you non-gangstas! They are both strikers and love to knock or be knocked out. If they both stick to their standup game, this fight will be over before the ring girl can get the card ready for the second round.

Yushin Okami vs. Evan Tanner Tanner is the typical UFC “couch potato” turned main eventer in this match. He hasn’t fought since 2006. Ring rust will be a factor for this guy but he does hold a 34-6 record so he’s not completely useless. Okami, with his 22-4 record isn’t anything to sniff at either. These guys can do both the ground and pound and submission work. It’s anyone’s guess on this one but I’ll go out on a limb and give it to the couch tater. I’m kind of in Evan’s same boat as I’ve been pretty cozy with my couch for the last year too!

Heath Herring vs. Cheick Kongo We have some big BIG boys here at the 250 pound mark. They can do more than waddle around the octagon though so be on the lookout for a classic match here. Kongo is the striker while Herring is the ground game specialist. Kongo has won his last four fights including one against the tough Cro Cop. Herring hasn’t faired so well lately so he will have to expose Kongo’s weak ground game and try to put him to sleep. But that’s the trick isn’t it? I think Kongo will knock Heath down and out and back to palukaville with a clean KO.

Anderson Silva vs. Dan Henderson Good fights like these don’t come to the UFC every month. Silva hasn’t lost in two years. He’s also the Middleweight Title holder here. No iterim crap. Middleweight Freaking Champ! He has a 20-4 record and has fought some tough dudes. He’ll be facing Dan Henderson who has a 22-6 record with most of that coming from PRIDE where he dominated. He lost a close fight to Quentin “Rampage” Jackson the last time he fought. Dan has also mixed it up with Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, the current interim UFC heavyweight champ. Let’s not forget wins over Wanderlei Silva, Vitor Belfort, Renato Sobral and Murilo Bustamante. We definitely have a fight to lick our chops to! I’ll give this one to Henderson. He’s fought with some of the greats and he comes into the UFC hungry for wins.

UFC 82: Pride of a Champion promises to be a great event. Cheers to all you MMA StarBuckers willing to tough this one out on Yahoo! Leave some soy mocha for me!

In case you’ve been hiding under a rock the past week, and by the way It’s my damn rock! Get your own! Uhhh, anyway, UFC82 is going to set up shop in Columbus, Ohio.  The big twist here is that if you are one of the few people on the planet Earth that has high speed Internet but no way to order Pay Per View television either from a cable or a satellite tv connection, then you are in luck. Yahoo.com is going to graciously take your $45 from your credit card and allow you to watch some aaish kickin’ at StarBucks if you want. This is even more huge than you might think because, since it’s Yahoo, it is world wide. So, unless you’re from Italy, Korea, Iran, Iraq, and Sudan, you can sit, knock back a few pints with your bangers and mash and see some crazy Yanks mix it up for your amusement.

Stay tuned mmab0nes readers.  I’ll be coming up with my crazy preview and predictions:  Same b0nes time, same b0nes channel!

Anyway, he is fighting his way through the MMA world and had aligned himself with a Cage Fury Fighting Championship league then later with EliteXC. He has fought and won three actual mixed martial arts fights. Legendary MMA’er Bas Rutten is training him so you know this “freakshow” is for real. I think it’s only a matter of time before we see KIMBO in the UFC. Check him out for yourself below. If you have little ones, be careful with the sound because they like to cuss in the vid! (PS… They **REALLY** liked to cuss in that other video!  I just changed it to another video so you can watch it without getting pelted by EffBombs.  I like EffBombs in comedy, not in MMA!  Cheers.)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_A9weRYTP3o