Mixed Martial B0nes

UFC113: Machida vs. Shogun 2 came to the great province of Quebec in the city of Montreal on May 8, 2010.  Again it was a feature packed event.  After a few lackluster UFC‘s this one looked to fill our bills with MMA goodness.  What we came away with instead was a whooole lot of questions:

Is Lyoto Machida exposed as merely a “karate guy” that can’t hang with real MMA’rs?  This is a conceit by many a fan and many a competitor that Machida had proved wrong time and time again until this bout with Shogun Rua.  Rua just completely took apart Machida and left him a tub of goo on the Octagon floor.

WTF was Paul Daley thinking???!!?  Seeya dude.  Dana is really trying to create a better product so he can sell it to “normal” TV in the future.  That’s Dana White’s ultimate goal: To gain as many fans as the NFL and grab a spot on a regular television network.  That’s not going to happen if you have jackholes, punching people looong after the bell has rung.  Even a complete UFC novice knows not to do that.  So, for now, Daley’s out of the UFC until Dana White says he can come back on.  He had such a great prize to look forward to.  A title shot at GSP and a coaching gig on The Ulimate Fighter!  Quite a bonehead move.

Kimbo’s in the same boat: Out of the UFC for now.  Getting taken apart by “Meathead” Mitrone wasn’t what Dana had in mind for Kimbo in the UFC.  Still, I don’t think one loss should have meant booting out a surefire ratings bonanza like Kimbo out of the organization.  Kimbo will go back to Strikeforce and bump up the ratings again.  Hopefully, with what he’s learned he’ll completely dominate and earn his spot back into the UFC.  Fighters with bigger beefs against Dana have come back and will fight again, see Chuck Liddell and Tito Ortiz!

Here are your results:

No Wanna See You Card:

* Middleweight bout:  Jason MacDonald vs.  John Salter
Salter put the hurt on MacDonald via TKO (injury) at 2:42 of round 1.

* Welterweight bout:  Yoshiyuki Yoshida vs.  Mike Guymon
Guymon fooled the judges and beat up Yoshida via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27).

* Heavyweight bout:  Tim Hague vs.  Joey Beltran
Beltran fooled the judges and beat up Hague via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-26, 29-28).

* Welterweight bout:  TJ Grant vs.  Johny Hendricks
Hendricks fooled the jugges and beat up Grant via majority decision (29-27, 29-27, 28-28).

* Welterweight bout:  Marcus Davis vs.  Jonathan Goulet
Davis put the hurt on Goulet via TKO (punches) at 1:23 of round 2.

* Middleweight bout:  Joe Doerksen vs.  Tom Lawlor
Doerksen choked the fight out of Lawlor via submission (rear naked choke) at 2:10 of round 2.

Main PPV and/or Drunk at the Pub Fights:

* Middleweight bout:  Patrick Côté vs.  Alan Belcher
Belcher choked the fight out of Cote via submission (rear naked choke) at 3:25 of round 2.

* Heavyweight bout:  Kimbo Slice vs.  Matt Mitrione
Mitrione put the hurt on Slice via TKO (punches) at 4:24 of round 2.

* Lightweight bout:  Sam Stout vs.  Jeremy Stephens
Stephens fooled the jugges and beat up Stout via split decision (30-27, 29-28, 28-29).

* Welterweight bout:  Josh Koscheck vs.  Paul Daley
Koscheck fooled the jugges and beat up Daley via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)

* Light Heavyweight Championship bout:  Lyoto Machida (c) vs.  Mauricio Rua
Rua layed the smack down on Machida via KO (punches) at 3:35 of round 1 to become the new UFC Light Heavyweight Champion.

The UFC Fight Night 13 has come and gone. I’ve been able to watch it, watch it again, and then re-watch it for good measure. I’ve come away with a few thoughts. The match ups were actually not too bad. There was a really good mix of fighters this time out and very few couch potatoes if you don’t count Tim Boetsch who got dropped in the second round of his fight. Our Ultimate Fighter Alumni fare ok although some of them could have done much much better. I’m talking to you Farm Boy! Just don’t hurt me or try to find me or… hey, how about I buy you a few beers buddy old pal! We also got to see the debut of the new season of The Ultimate Fighter. Was it everything we hoped and dreamed for?

Joe Lauzon was handled without mercy by Kenny Florian late into the second round of their fight. They were pretty even for a while there. This match easily scores as best of the night. That is, unless of course the un-aired Clay Guida or Manny Gamburyan fights were as action packed as this one. I remember Joe on the Ultimate Fighter 5 and he was one of the short listed guys to win it all. It’s funny that he headlines this event while the guys that advanced further than him are second and even no-billed at all.

Tommy (The Farm Boy) Speer was handed an embarassing loss to Anthony Johnson. It wasn’t a good sign when we saw Matt Hughes in his corner. Hughes probably handed Speer a Bible and his patented “gameplan” for Johnson. It was obvious that Tommy was going to try to take this one to the ground and then do some pounding or submitting from there. He did so by charging in with his head wide open and just got rocked by punches that kept coming. He ended up in a little ball on the side of the Octagon. He should have abandoned the gameplan when he discovered that his head was hurting a bit. I hope Tommy does better. He certainly was my pick to win last season. Of course, the mad Vegan Big Mac Danzig had something to say about that.

Nate Diaz is the real effing deal. As much as I can’t stand the guy and believe that he walked away with a fake win on the Ultimate Fighter 5, he is proving himself to be one of those elite fighters. His match with Kurt Pellegrino really proved that he can’t be beat even when he is soundly getting beat. Kurt controlled and layed the beat down on Nate for almost his entire match. Then somehow, he found himself in a triangle complete with double birds for good measure. Manvel the Anvil won his match as well. I will scream at the top of my lungs until it happens: NATE DIAZ VS MANNY GAMBURYAN MUST HAPPEN NOW!!!!

After all this bone crunching goodness, we got to see the new season of The Ultimate Fighter unfold. In a word best used by Forrest Griffin: Garbage. This was just the preliminary fights. 32 guys started shuffling into the gym and none of them had a clue what was going on. “Uh… usually there are only 16 guys on the show but all these other dudes kept walking in the door. We were all like, ‘WTF??!’” Hmmmm… you signed up for a show called “The Ultimate Fighter” and you know only 16 guys are on the show? Duh. So we saw some more fights by guys that were really really raw or “garbage.” So if they drag this part of the show out more, we’re looking at 2 more weeks of this junk. I can’t believe I’m jonesing for an upper-decker or a foosball table in the pool right now!

UFC‘s Fight Night 13 is upon us tonight (Wednesday, April 2nd 2008). This event features a full stack of fighters from a number of different Ultimate Fighter shows as well as some other UFC guys under contract looking for a brawl. The fights will be aired on the SPIKE network as usual and the whole thing will last about three hours. After that, we will be treated to the next THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER. This fight card really pisses me off. You can see the entire card HERE. It doesn’t include a fight I’ve been waiting for for a LOOOONG time, so like some of the past Ultimate Fighter contestants I’m going to bitch out of doing an entire fight card analysis.

WOW! It seems like an entire world ago when we were finding out what “upper decker” meant and that Big Mac didn’t like being in the house and that grown men are always crying about something and… ok I’ll stop there. Suffice to say, I like what I saw in the tiny preview of TUF. Especially the part about fighting your way out of the house if you want to wuss out. There’s been too much whining and complaining from these guys. I already outlined just a few steps that could improve the show a while ago. I don’t think Dana got the call… at least if they get tired of getting drunk and trashing someone’s house on the UFC’s dime, they can fight their way out to palookaville.

I don’t know what to make of this card. The featured bout is Joe Lauzon vs. Kenny Florian. Bringing up almost the absolute rear is Clay Guida vs. Samy Schiavo. Clay was the featured fight in UFC Fight Night 12 with Ray Huerta in a match that you *really* must see again. Oh yeah, we finally get to see Manny Gamburyan and Nate Diaz in the same octagon BUT not in the SAME fight. Also, we probably wont be able to see Manny. Just Nate. I *know* Nate won TUF5, but only because Manny couldn’t continue. There has been NO rematch since and here they are together and they still aren’t fighting. I’ve already ranted about this too. UFC83′s match with GSPII vs. Serra is a part of that rant about fights we aren’t going to see. There are also other good matches like Roman Mitichyan vs. Georgie-boy Sotiropoulos that won’t be televised.

I *must* be a complete newbie biiatch not to see the genius that is Ultimate Fighting Championship. The lineup is good and has some great fighters but they could use some shuffling about. Especially if they want to promote this next Ultimate Fighter show. Hell, one of the fighters was Tim Boetsch who they dusted off the couch for UFC 81, another event with a dubious fight card. Well, I’m going to watch this… for the entire 4 hours… but, I’m not going to like it!!!